I’m a crazy banana!

 A while ago I found a post on http://myhongkonghusband.wordpress.com  ‘s blog. The person behind this blog is married to a man from Hong Kong and she’s writing about Hong Kong and what its like to be married to someone from another country and culture, it’s actually quite interesting, i enjoy reading it!
Anyhow, she posted a blog entry about  “84 Ways To Know If You’re Chinese”, I assume the list is for Chinese people living in a western country, but I’m sure it will work for me as well, so why not look at the list?.. Maybe I becoming what they call “A weird banana” – meaning, your yellow on the outside and white on the inside.
100% – You should not be living in USA/Canada (or a western country) because you are too chinese
50% –  42 √, you are a banana
Less than 20 √ – You are a proud American..
So here we go!

1. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping and next year
2. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
3. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls
4. You have a vinyl table-cloth on your kitchen table – I do, and its super cute..
5. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
6. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it
7. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time
8. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack – haha…
9. You have never used your dishwasher
10. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times. – sort of.. I keep a thermos of tea with no taste at all times…
11. You boil water and put it in the refrigerator.
12. You eat all meals in the kitchen
13. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers – grocery bags, yes.
14. You use grocery bags to hold garbage – It’s so smart
15. You always leave your shoes at the door – I don’t want it to be dirty everywhere..
16. You have a piano in your living room.
17. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.
18. You iron your own shirts. – When I have to yes, but then again, I don’t do it very often..
19. You play a musical instrument. – Before…
20. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth). 
21. You twirl your pen around your fingers.
22. You hate to waste food… 
a. Even if you’re totally full, if someone says they’re going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you’ll finish them.
b. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing. – I’m living alone.. So there’s always a lot of leftovers
23. You don’t own any real Tupperware–only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
24. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
25. You’ve eaten a red bean popsicle. – It tastes awful !
26. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit people’s homes. – In China, when I’m with my 老公..
27. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
28. The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take out or go to McDonald’s.
29. Ditto paper napkins.
30. You never order room service.
31. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes)…..These travel snacks are always dried. As in not just dried plums, dried ginger, and beef/pork jerky, but dried cuttlefish (SQUID).
32. You own a rice cooker.
33. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
34. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table.
35. Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of gold coin oranges that their guests just brought just to be courteous.
36. You fight over who pays the dinner bill
Yes, this is my 老公 🙂

37. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.  – “I’m an engineer, I can fix this!” >.<
38. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law.
39. When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool
40. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it that way).
41. You don’t use measuring cups.
42. You feel like you’ve gotten a good deal if you didn’t pay tax.
43. You beat eggs with chopsticks.
44. Your parents’ house is always cold. – MUM, the heating isn’t working!!!! haha..
45. You have a teacup with a cover on it –
46. You reuse teabags.
47. You have a drawer full of old pens, most of which don’t write anymore.
48. If you’re under age 20, you own a really expensive walkman. If you’re over 20, you own a really expensive camera and/or stereo system.
49. Your mom drives her Mercedes to the Price Club.
50. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling Information costs 50 cents
51. You tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.
52. You’re a wok user.
53. You only make long distance calls after 11pm.
54. You know all the waiters at your favorite Chinese restaurants.
55. You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions… – because white people’s dubbed movies suck.
a. You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
b. Shao Lin and Wu Tang actually mean something to you.
56. You have acquired a taste for bittermelon.
57. You like congee with thousand-year old eggs. – I’ve tasted it, I don’t love it nor hate it..
58. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached–it means they’re fresh.
59. You never call your parents just to say hi.
60. You always cook too much.
61. If you don’t live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you’ve eaten, even if it’s midnight.
62. Also, if you don’t live at home, your parents always want you to come home.
63. Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick.
64. When you’re sick, they also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods because they produce hot air – My 老公’s parents – YES
65. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only sit 10 feet apart.
66. Your parents never go to the movies.
67. Your parents send money to their relatives in China.
68. You use a face cloth. – So comfortable!
69. Your parents use a clothes line.
70. You’re always late.
71. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don’t eat the last piece of food on the table.
72. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat sushi.
73. You’ve joined a CD club at least once.
74. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.
75. You never discuss your love life with your parents.
76. Your parents are never happy with your grades.
77. You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you’re never going to use them again.
78. You keep used batteries.
79. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
80. You keep most of your money in a savings account. – I’m doing my best..
81. You know what MJ means with me
82. You’ve been on the Love Boat or know someone who has.
83. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
84. You take this message and forward it to all your Chinese friends
Am I a crazy banana? I guess so, and i like it!
Although this is not just because I have lived in 中国(china), I’m pretty sure some of these are things that I’m used to from when I grew up. Many points on the list have influenced me while I was living there, and after I met my 老公, but he thinks that some of these points are strange, so does that make me more Chinese than him? I don’t think so.. I think this list could be used in every culture.  Not only Asians cook too much or have a dad that think that he can fix everything..
Why don’t you try? Are you a crazy banana or a “proud American?”



2 thoughts on “I’m a crazy banana!

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