她怎么会和我这种人约会呢? Why would she date a guy like me?

Before I moved back to Norway my 老公 and I spent a lot of time with our friends, most of them were local Beijinger’s. They would always ask Chenchen “where do you get the confidence from?”, “how can you date a white girl?”, “How can you get a white girl to like you?”. They were obviously curious, and wanting to date a white girl. We talked about dating white girls many times, and they were all pretty frustrated, mostly because they don’t speak English, and they were not confident enough. I always told them that they have to be confident, to me and to many other girls, confidence is the sexiest thing about someone. And they all tried hard, some of them maybe a bit too hard.. haha. I will not go into details about that, but at least they tried 🙂
To some Asian men it might be really hard to realize that they can also date a woman of another race, whether it is Caucasian, Black, or Latina. I have had Asian friends saying things to me such as;

“I’m just not good enough for her.”
“I don’t think she would find me attractive.”
“Look at me, I’m way too short.”
“Why would she date a guy like me?”

Here is a song called “没那种命” which pretty much means “I  don’t have that kind of life” – Look at this guy, he got the girl that he wanted in the end ~

This seems to be something many Asian say. However, any man, Asian, Black, White, can attract ANY race of woman. That’s because attraction isn’t based on race at all.  It’s really not that hard for an Asian man to get with a white woman.  Usually Asian men are always around Asian girls so that makes them more comfortable with Asian girls, that sometimes it seems like it might be too hard, or too different to even try to get with a white girl.

So, how can we get you, an Asian man who has never been with a White girl, or have tried but didn’t succeed, into the right frame of mind so that you can start dating a white girl?

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Here are some tips on how to start dating a white girl / dating a white girl, that we found after doing some research,  with my 老公’s opinion:

♥   Be in shape – Asian men aren’t known for being studs, maybe because most Asian men don’t have the genetics to look super fit and buff. But hey, everyone can go to the gym and work out, don’t blame your genetics! And the moment I wrote this, Chenchen realized he should start going to the gym! haha 

♥   Grooming – Some Asian men aren’t good at grooming so look in the mirror before going out and keep your hair styled in a contemporary manner. I didn’t always care about that, but now after I met you and I moved to Scotland I spend at least 30 minutes fixing my hair before i go outside.. 

♥   Glasses – Many Asians wear glasses, but maybe when your going on your first date you could leave the glasses at home? It might just add to the stereotype of Asian men. Of course after going on a few dates and you guys decide on going to a museum you can wear your glasses. Just think about when and where you wear your glasses. I’m sorry I wore my glasses all the time when we first started going out.. haha, but now I realize that I should leave them at home.. 

♥   Go to places where white women will be – Don’t be scared to go to places where you are the only Asian guy and everyone else is white. If you want to meet a white girl in a club, don’t go to your local Chinese KTV or Asian club. Go to the clubs where foreigners go. So there will be hundreds of white men and one asian guy? I would feel so intimidated, but I guess it would be the “only chance” 

♥   Make non-Asian friends – This includes hanging out with white men, such as your co-workers or classmates, spending time with white men will make you more comfortable with interacting with white people in general and being in their social circle will put you in contact with white women. Go for it! If you start hanging out with White people you will gain confidence really quickly, and it will be easier to meet a white girl through your white friends! 

♥   Pull your white girl into the Asian world – When you meet this white “dream girl”, why not expose her to your culture? Take her out to your favorite Asian restaurant. Teach her how to use chopsticks. Talk to her about something interesting that relates to you being Asian. But please, don’t overdo it. If you start talking about Anime or Chinese TV shows every minute of your conversation, she is not going to be very receptive, especially if she does not know anything about Anime or Chinese TV shows and is not even into it. Just talk a little about your culture, don’t giver her too much information and don’t talk too much about it on the first few dates.. Eventually she will learn more about your culture 🙂 

♥   Show her that you are not different from any other guy –  A problem with a lot of Asian men that is not used to being around non-Asians, is that they fulfill the stereotypical Asian role when they meet women. They portray themselves as a little “feminine” and weak or nerdy and anti-social. When you meet a white girl show her that you are NOTHING like any of those stereotypes. You’re cool, you’re confident, and you know how to socialize. You are just like that white guy she used to date~ Be confident! Maybe you have to step out of your comfort zone, and man up a little bit, but afterwards it will be all worth it, you just have to say to yourself that you are just like everyone else. You can do it~

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Now, if you still don’t feel confident and your too shy to walk up to a white girl, you can always join an online dating website for people who are interested in AMWF relationships. It could be a good way to meet a woman, but eventually you will have to meet her face to face, but if you feel more confident meeting a girl online first, then GO FOR IT! 😀

nameee

10 thoughts on “她怎么会和我这种人约会呢? Why would she date a guy like me?

  1. you should publish it on some Chinese forum – ask Chenchen to translate it properly and just post, maybe some guys would feel encouraged to give a shot with a white girl and not run away because of their fears 🙂

      1. I think a girl’s opinion is more important than a guy… unless they want to date other white guys haha 🙂 I read some of there ‘good advice’ and no wonder some of them are still single 😉

      2. Haha true ! Yeah they have some great advice .. Maybe it’s for the best that some of them stay single 😝 although I have to admit, I like the “small” AMWF community, but it would be nice to see more AMWF couples 😀

  2. As a asian-Canadian , this stuff basically applies to asian people in their ethnic homeland. Someone like me , who grew up in Canada , most of what you pointed out I already do. Working out , looking nice , have non – asian friends that stuff is all standard over here. Well , except for the glasses.To the last point about being “white?” That only applies to people who didn’t grew up in western countries. People like me , I think I’ll be more asian instead.

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