The other day I asked my friend Jemma, if she wanted to do a guest post on my blog. She’s been in a relationship with a Chinese guy who grew up in the UK, for 7 years, so of course I asked her to write about her relationship,(I think they are so cute together, thats why I asked 😀 Made me feel like a stalker! haha.) I already know quite a bit about her relationship, but what I really wanted to know more about was if there are as many cultural differences in her relationship as there is in mine. So here you are – This is Jemma’s experience of dating a Chinese guy ~
Growing up I was always fascinated with chinese culture from when my dad first started watching Bruce Lee movies with me and I just so happen to now be in a relationship with a chinese guy who was born in Hong Kong but moved to the UK when he was 3/4.
I have to be honest and say that when we first got together I was infatuated with the idea that he is chinese and I am white, however 7 years later it really doesn’t come into it and we argue just like any other race couple do. I personally think a relationship based only on the race of your partner is unrealistic and most probably won’t last.
With my partner being pretty much raised in the UK there are times where I feel like I appreciate some parts of chinese culture more than he does. For example, respecting his parents. He can be quite rude and dismissive to them when I know they just want whats best for him (although they really couldn’t care less about our relationship!). He seems to have a lot of resentment towards them because they pressured him from a young age to translate things for them and cope with things he really shouldnt of had to at a young age.
I do think our relationship is…easier?..Because he understands British culture and yet still loves his Chinese culture. Although he speaks Cantonese fluently, he can get embarrassed if there is something he can’t explain or translate to me however his Chinese side definitely comes out when food is brought into the picture. This guy will eat everything and anything and we do cook some chinese dishes together!. Although there are a lot of things he totally disagrees with in his Chinese culture, he is very proud to be Chinese.
I can’t say there are really any major challenges we have faced together due to the fact we both speak the same language and he understands British culture. I would only say the main issue is me not having a connection with his family which initially was off-putting for me as I always wanted to be close to my in-laws. I do find that chinese girls can get hostile to me at times and white guys to him but we think nothing of it and love the fact that we are mixing our cultures and our ethnicities. I’ve recently thought about going to chinese school but there are none near me 😦 The only reason I would want to do that is for when we have children. Although I understand and can speak some Cantonese, I wouldn’t consider myself fluent at all.
After 7 years, we live together with our 2 pooches (They are soooo cute 😀 – Oda.. ) , we have had really bad times but are still together. We are planning to finish traveling to a few more places before caving to the pressure of marriage and kids. Once that’s out of or system, we will look to move house and if children come along, our baby girl would be named Ava Mei and a boy named Josh, (unsure of the decided chinese names). Unfortunately we don’t have the money to do it all at once!